


Say It All

by AppleSharon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Friendship, Jealous Poe Dameron, M/M, Pining, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Romance, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, established relationship (sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-21
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21884443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleSharon/pseuds/AppleSharon
Summary: “No I mean, you liked him, liked him,” Finn says, emphasizing the word “liked” while trying, and failing, to hold back a giggle.Somewhere else on the base, a happy scream rises above the din as colourful pinwheels burst in the sky.Poe desperately wants to know what it was that Finn had to tell Rey over him. Snapshots from the aftermath.Minor TRoS spoilers. TRoS fix-it (minor tweaks). Can be read as an established Finn/Poe relationship or more of a "getting together/figuring stuff out" musing.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Finn & Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 18
Kudos: 624





	1. Call

**Author's Note:**

> This can be read as an established relationship or not, although in my opinion, most of The Rise of Skywalker can be read as an established Finn/Poe relationship so . . . ^ ^ It was written as a quick word-vomit TRoS response thing while I try to finish my other Finn/Poe work.

_Finn._

Finn is the first thought that comes to Poe’s mind as he tumbles into round tunnel. 

It’s shaped like an animal burrow and the ground is oddly smooth. The rocky floor jams his blaster holster into his thigh uncomfortably as pain shoots up his ankle. His hands are grimy with sweat and fine granules of sand.

 _Finn_ he thinks again, and his thoughts aren’t coherent. They’re jumbled-together images and flashes of emotion that all end in the fervent hope that Finn is alive and well. 

Threepio is prattling about something in the background while Chewie makes a few annoyed roars and it would be so much better if Poe could actually think. He’s not usually a thinker but he hasn’t been able to stop thinking since their contact mission and he hasn’t had time to sort his priorities.

_Finn._

Poe shakes his head and reaches out instinctively when he sees sand and dirt begin to fall from above. He tucks away the flash of disappointment when he sees white fabric cascading down with the dirt and manages to wipe the emotion from his face although if Rey really wanted to know, Poe thinks she could easily find out despite the fact that he’s about as force-sensitive as duracrete. 

She quickly moves out of his arms and stands, wiping dust from her cutoff pants. Suddenly Finn is there and Poe’s joy at seeing him alive is quickly overrule by jealousy bubbling up from the pit of his stomach. 

Finn had wanted to say something to Rey and only Rey when he thought they were going to die and Poe’s brain immediately thought of the worst thing. 

It’s not okay, Poe wants to say as Finn brushes him off. _It’s not okay because we were about to die and you wanted to say something to her and not to me and now I have to get out of her way and I don’t like getting out of others’ ways,_ and it’s petty. It’s so petty but he cannot stop thinking it so he shoves them aside but cannot help making a snide remark before he takes a giant step forward as if he knows exactly where they’re going. 

Because he doesn’t want to be petty. If he’s this inconsiderate and jealous now after sending both Finn and Rey away and getting Finn caught up in a mutiny of all things then what was it all for? Were the lessons he learned from Admiral Holdo’s sacrifice and his prior demotion that easily forgotten?

And if they were, what did it say about him, Poe Dameron?

Still, it hurts because he and Finn were, well if not together per se, then definitely headed in that direction with all of the casual touching, hand-holding, and inside jokes about Chewie’s dejarik prowess.

Poe can compete with a lot of people. On a particularly good day, he’d say that he could compete with 99.9 percent of the known universe, all galaxies included. 

Rey is the one person with whom he can never hope to compete. 

He’s in awe of her and more than a bit terrified. Whenever she looks at him, even if it’s a petty argument about how the _Falcon_ should be flown, she seems to see through him. She’s beautiful and all-encompassing. 

Poe knows why Finn would fall in love with her.

***

“You liked him,” Finn says, taking a long draught of whatever the pilots had handed to him earlier at the start of the victory party.

His cheeks are flushed and his mouth presses up in a broad smile that hasn’t left his face since they landed back on Ajan Kloss. 

“Best instructor I ever had,” Poe says.

“No I mean, you liked him, liked him,” Finn says, emphasizing the word “liked” while trying, and failing, to hold back a giggle. 

Somewhere else on the base, a happy scream rises above the din as colourful pinwheels burst in the sky. 

“Watch it there buddy, you’re talking about the unkillable hero of the Rebel Alliance like he’s a normal person to fancy.”

Poe emphasizes “fancy” as if he’s disgusted with the word and Finn laughs again. Poe turns his head to find Finn’s eyes trained on him with a smile and intensity that he was still unused to. Finn did everything with such intensity. 

“So he wasn’t?” Finn asks.

“Wasn’t what?”

“A normal person to fancy?”

“He was— he is a hero!”

“But you fancied him anyway,” Finn says, grinning like he’s discovered Poe’s deepest secret from watching Poe interact with a former commanding officer for mere seconds. 

“He’s Wedge Antilles,” Poe grumbles. “He’s over there, all the way in the sky, and I’m down here, you know?”

Finn looks at him, confused.

“You’re a pilot,” he says slowly. 

Poe groans.

“Figuratively, buddy, not actually. Sure I can physically fly a fighter and he can physically fly a fighter but he’s much too good for me. He’s more than me. It’s a bit— it’s like Rey, you know?”

And Finn somehow nods as if he knows what Poe is talking about. Poe is almost certain that Finn is pretending to understand in order to move the conversation along. Finn does this a lot when he wants to fit in, pretends he knows something just to avoid further questions. 

“What did you want to tell Rey on Pasaana?”

Poe swallows. He can’t help the words tumbling out of his mouth despite knowing exactly how petty and meaningless they are because it still means something to him. He’s desperate. Rey is still here, even if she isn’t physically present. 

Rey is always here and that’s the problem. 

Finn looks down at his hands sheepishly. They’re shaking. 

“Ah, kriff, it seems stupid now,” Finn says. He then scoots closer to Poe and leans his head on Poe’s shoulder. 

Poe tenses. He doesn’t dare to even breathe. 

“I’m force-sensitive, Poe.”

Another pinwheel bursts in the sky with a screeching sound. The light flickers across Finn’s face. Finn is staring at him with an intensity that forces him to look away. 

“I know, buddy,” Poe says slowly. “I mean, you’ve talked about it with me before.”

“Yeah, and I wanted to, I don’t know. I wanted Rey to know because it felt like the right thing to do at that time, you know? But then it turned into this weird thing and you were mad and I wanted it to be something the two of us could share since she was, drifting away. It felt like she was anyway.”

Finn’s words linger in the damp night of the Ajan Kloss jungle. They belong there with the humidity and light mist from a nearby pond, Poe thinks, because suddenly he feels like flying again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The "Poe had a crush on Wedge while at the Academy" is completely in my own head, but I like including it. ^ ^


	2. Response

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“I owe you an apology.”_
> 
> _Poe Dameron’s voice is gravelly and low with the early hour and last night’s celebration._
> 
> _“You do,” she said simply, gesturing at the seat across from her._
> 
> _He deftly filled an empty mug with some suspiciously viscous caf using only his good arm. Setting the steaming mug on the table, he looked directly into her eyes._
> 
> _“I was an asshole. I’m sorry.”_

Poe Dameron has always been an empty space to her. 

He is one of many in the Resistance who not only lack a natural aptitude for sensing the Force, but is a complete blank spot. She cannot effectively sense his intentions, although she knows he has a sort of weariness of her, a general distrust and a flare of jealousy that flickers in his eyes whenever she touches Finn. 

His lack of force-sensitivity makes Poe fairly ordinary to Rey, or would if she didn’t also know of the developing relationship between the General’s protegé and her closest friend. 

This is what makes Poe dangerous. He’s already been proven reckless with both the Resistence’s meagre resources and Finn’s life. She doesn’t fully trust Poe. Not with Finn’s well-being. Not with Finn’s physical state or emotions. Rey wants to like Poe, and does, but Finn was her first friend. She can feel Finn through the Force and desperately wants to share even that part of her with Finn.

She isn’t sure if he’s ready. 

She doesn’t think Poe fully understands their connection. Poe has been surrounded by friends and family his entire life, even with the loss of his mother as a child.

Floating in the quicksand, she’s well-aware that the best method of excavating herself is to remain as still as possible. She's lived in deserts for most of her life. As she sinks, she realizes that there’s something beneath her, an exit. 

A pair of arms reaches out for her and she immediately knows it’s not Finn or Chewie but Poe. She wants anyone but Poe at this point. Her thoughts are already jumbled with Ben Solo’s presence and another cry of pain from deep in the tunnels that she doesn’t quite understand.

***

Rey is up early the morning after their celebrations. She expects that she’ll miss this evening’s festivities, which promise to be even more elaborate and well-funded than the night before due to the flood of continuously arriving warships and delegations from planets and galaxies she never knew of until they introduced themselves to her, often heavily under the influence of free-flowing alcohol.

“I owe you an apology.”

Poe Dameron’s voice is gravelly and low with the early hour and last night’s celebration.

“You do,” she said simply, gesturing at the seat across from her. 

He deftly filled an empty mug with some suspiciously viscous caf using only his good arm. Setting the steaming mug on the table, he looked directly into her eyes.

“I was an asshole. I’m sorry.”

Rey shrugs. She knows that his sentiment is genuine, although she can’t help but needle him a bit.

“So, how are the Generals Dameron this morning?” 

Rey immediately receives her intended reaction. Poe’s face immediately flushes red. She bites back a remark of how easy he is to read, even without an ounce of force-sensitivity. 

“I’m taking the _Falcon_ ,” she said, draining the last of her tea. “Hopefully Lando didn’t mess as much with the controls as you do.”

She stares at him, hoping he’ll get the message. Whether it’s a miraculous moment where he can actually feel her intentions, or simply has come to a realization himself, he smiles broadly. She thinks about how their days of squabbling over the _Falcon_ as a not-so-subtle stand-in for Finn are over. She's never wanted Finn in the same way that Poe has wanted Finn.

“Did Finn ever say what he wanted to tell you on Pasaana?” he asks.

Rey smiles. She closes her eyes and allows the general warmth of their victory surround her.

“I’m sure he’ll tell me someday,” she says. “But between you and me, General Dameron, I already know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As soon as the spoiler limitations allow, I want to write a series called "The Generals Dameron."


	3. Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _It isn’t until much later in the evening, head on Finn’s chest as Finn breathes softly in sleep, that Poe realizes where he’s seen that look before._
> 
> _His father’s face when speaking of his mother._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has turned into a snapshots of the aftermath/fix-it kind of thing. I'm not sure if I'll add more chapters or not in the future. This specific chapter is sort of a study for a larger Poe/Finn fic I want to do with Wedge/Luke as a background pairing/parallel narrative through line.

When Poe sees Wedge Antilles again, Finn’s words echo in head. 

_But you fancied him anyway._

And suddenly Poe is blushing again, not of attraction but embarrassment. He looks back at Finn talking animatedly with Rey and Rose, another drink pressed into his hands from who-knows-where, and then Finn looks directly at him and winks as if he knows because of course he does, he’s force-sensitive. 

Poe wonders if it’s truly because Finn is force-sensitive, or whether Finn just knows him that well and he can’t help a broad smile at the thought of the latter. Beaming in the direction of Finn, gives a small wave. 

He turns back to Antilles, just Antilles, as the Academy instructor had told them on their first day of training. If not Antilles then Instructor, or his callsign Phantom Leader. Poe had only once called him “Commander” before being swiftly corrected. 

To this day, Poe wonders if Antilles had ever reached a status higher than commander, perhaps supreme commander or general, but if he had, the pilot had never said anything. 

Although there’s no reason why he would have said anything to Poe about it at all. Since the destruction of Hosnian Prime, the Resistance hasn’t been able to construct a proper flight training program and the last he had heard of Antilles, the former pilot had been raising keedees with Snap’s mom. 

Pain floods his chest at the thought of Snap, and Poe vows to consult with his co-general on a proper memorial service. 

Antilles is walking slowly through the celebrating crowd towards their makeshift airfield. Poe follows at a distance, beginning to sweat from the heat and humidity. He’s kept himself from blurting it out in briefings multiple times, but Ajan Kloss feels like Yavin 4. It feels like home. 

He stops at the edge of a clearing. Antilles has brought him to Red Five. 

The celebration is quieter here, muted by the dense jungle air. He hears the distant pop of fireworks and the burbling of a nearby waterfall. 

Antilles reaches his hand up and touches the old X-wing with reverence. He leans his head against the landing gear, grey hair sticking to his forehead. Light flickers into Antilles’ face and Poe immediately sees tears streaming down, dripping onto a muted orange flightsuit, lightened by light, dust, and time. 

Poe’s eyes sting. Realizing that he is intruding on an intimate moment, he turns quickly and walks back. He doesn’t care if Antilles hears a branch snap, he just knows he needs to get out of there because of that look. 

He isn’t meant to see it. 

It isn’t until much later in the evening, head on Finn’s chest as Finn breathes softly in sleep, that Poe realizes where he’s seen that look before. 

His father’s face when speaking of his mother.

Poe turns his head to kiss Finn’s bare stomach lightly.

***

Antilles comes to Poe after Snap’s memorial service. He walks over with Karé, mumbling something to her that makes her smile, albeit wanly, before she waves a hand in Poe’s direction and walks in the direction of their base. 

“Hey hotshot,” Antilles says. His voice has a teasing lilt that’s surprisingly devoid of grief. “I heard you’ve tricked them into making you a general.”

“Instructor,” Poe says. Yet he can’t help but smile and he suddenly finds Antilles’ arms around him. The hug is firm and brief. 

“Shara would be proud,” Antilles says, and for once it doesn’t seem like a platitude but something real from someone who knew what flying really is. 

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Antilles adds as he pulls away.

Poe sputters.

“I’m sorry for yours.”

He can’t help but put special emphasis on “yours,” desperately trying to tell Antilles that he knows, he saw him with Red Five and _he knows_.

Antilles must somehow know that he’s not talking about Snap, although Poe can’t remember any word of Antilles being force-sensitive at all. Perhaps he was just that good at reading people after leading and teaching them for years. Perhaps he had seen Poe in the jungle that night. 

“He was a good man,” Antilles says, and this time his voice carries the pain of heartbreak.

“But you’re married.”

Poe physically winces as he says this, knowing that he shouldn’t have said anything at all. 

Yet Antilles quirks his head to the side and laughs, his grey bangs falling into his face. For a moment he looks years younger and Poe is reminded of his younger self’s crush. 

“I am,” he says simply. 

Poe feels like Antilles is waiting for a follow-up. 

“Were you happy?” Poe asks after a short pause. “Ah, you don’t have to tell me or anything it’s not really any of my—“

“Yes,” Antilles says. “We were very happy. But I’m happy now, too.”


End file.
